It's up to you

The world is full of cactus
~but~
You don't have to sit on it.

Hang tough

Some days it feels like you don't make a dent. You work hard to help someone and, oblivious to your motives, they may even ask you why you bother doing something and tell you straight-out that they don't value what you do at all.

It goes without saying that that can be discouraging, but don't give in to discouragement! Soldier on.

MLK said that only love can defeat hate- love is also our greatest weapon against ignorance, and against selfishness and immaturity and arrogance and smugness and especially against nihilism. Love wins, love works, love and compassion and lots and lots of patience.

Apathy and indifference can't win, certainly callousness and indignation won't get you anywhere. But remember that life isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. Slow and steady wins the race.

Hate and selfishness and anger are all in a hurry to shock and awe. They're all impatient and short-sighted, whereas love (being patient and kind, and keeping no records) takes the long view. Love is far more sustainable, durable, and can last forever.

So the next time you want to give up on investing in someone- a family member, a teammate, coworker, or a child or student- hang in there, even though it may SEEM fruitless. Seeds don't bloom overnight.

"So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up."~Galatians 6:9

Teams and Families

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." ~Paul's Letter to the Ephesians 4:2

Some of the times I miss teaching at a parochial school in stead of a public school are when I wish I could appeal to kids' personal faith in order to get them to treat each other better. There are some students who I try explaining concepts like respect, patience, and deference to but nothing seems to sink in.

It seems like in his book 'Seven Habits of Successful People,' Stephen Covey advises readers "seek first to understand, then to be understood." That's one reason that patience is important, because without it, we jump to conclusions.

Legendary UCLA Basketball Coach John Wooden taught his players that emotion was their enemy. They learned and practiced skills and principles so that they would always be prepared to respond to any situation. He didn't want them to just react based on their emotions, that generally means OVER-reacting.

The other night at a football game a Senior cheerleader moved two Freshmen squad mates further down the row so that they'd avoid getting smacked in the face. One of the Freshman didn't realize this and assumed that the Senior was just being bossy and mean. Consequently she overreacted, fuming with anger, even threatening to quit cheerleading. She let herself get so caught up in feeling disrespected, that it never occurred to her that she was actually being protected. 

Of course, even if I had been free to say, "God wants us to make every effort to keep our unity," doesn't mean that they'd suddenly be compliant to me as their coach or deferential and respectful toward one another. Perhaps the best that I can do is to be gentle and patient, trusting that eventually they'll learn these kinds of lessons throughout their lives.

What if we ALL had this attitude?

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." ~Paul's Letter to the Philippians 2:3

No Fear

"Fear is only as deep as the mind allows"
~Japanese proverb

Stand firm, be unflappable, your work is not in vain

1 Corinthians 15:58

New Century Version (NCV)

 ⁵⁸ So my dear brothers and sisters, stand strong. Do not let anything move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your work in the Lord is never wasted.

Citizenship, Sacrifice, and Service

"If a just society requires a strong sense of community, it must find a way to cultivate in citizens a concern for the whole, a dedication to the common good, It can't be indifferent to the attitudes and dispositions, the "habits of the heart," that citizens bring to public life. It must find a way to lean against purely privatized notions of the good life, and cultivate civic virtue."

~ Harvard Prof. Michael J. Sandel

In other words, we're all in this together,
so do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Make someone smile

In 10 years people won't remember the car you drove 

or how much money you made......

but a person will always remember how you made them feel.

You are what you think

"All That We Are Is the Result of What We Have Thought. The Mind Is Everything. What We Think, We Shall Become." ~Buddha

Stop and look around

"Life moves pretty fast
if you don't stop and look around once in a while
you might miss something."
~Ferris Bueller

What is Education, Anyway?

"Any man is educated who knows where to get knowledge when he needs it, and how to organize that knowledge into definite plans of action."
~ Napoleon Hill

Try

‎"It's impossible" said pride.
"it's risky" said experience.
"it's pointless" said reason.
"give it a try" whispered the heart..♥

Life's most persistent and urgent question

"Life's most persistent and urgent question is:
What are you doing for others?"
~Martin Luther King Jr.

Good to know about summers and weekends

"Time you enjoyed wasting,
wasn't wasted" ~John Lennon

Worry = Rust

"It is not work that kills men, it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more on a man than he can bear. But worry is rust upon the blade. It is not movement that destroys the machinery, but friction." 

~ Henry Ward Beecher

Make someone ELSE happy, and guess what?

"Everyone's goal is to be happy. Happiness is achieved by promoting happiness to others." 

~ Russell Simmons

Don't make matters worse

"We may be up against a stone wall, but we don't have to bloody our heads against it unless we choose to."
~William Glasser

Don't Give Up!

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time" ~Thomas Edison

What comes down, can go back up

"It doesn't matter how deep you fall,
what matters is how high you bounce back." ~Anonymous

Life's Shadows...

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by us standing in our own sunshine."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Out of control?

"While we may not be able to control all that happens to us,we CAN control what happens inside us.

~Benjamin Franklin

Be Different, Humble, Wild, and Real

"[Be] daring enough to be different, 

humble enough to make mistakes, 

wild enough to be burnt in the fire of love,

real enough to make others see how phony [you] are."

~ Brennan Manning, author

When we find our best

"When we face the worst that can happen in any situation, we grow. When circumstances are at their worst, we can find our best.” ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D. (1926-2004); psychiatrist

Get off your high-horse

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." ~Hemingway

Talk about your feelings

This cracked me up so much, I had to share it. Circa 1969 or 70 too! My kids didn't believe me that Kermit used to be on Sesame Street. I wonder if they'd believe that Cookie Monster used just be "Monster?"

Friendship unnecessary???

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." ~C.S. Lewis

Father's Day

…mentoring often involves telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear.

..mentor is both a verb and a noun. It is simultaneously something you do and something you are.

What matters is what you do with the lessons those mentors teach you.

~John Wooden

Not everyone has a loving Dad who's around. But If you look around, you can probably find someone who'd make a good mentor. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have kids and be a dad, but anyone can be there for someone younger or less experienced than them.

I've been really blessed with a wonderful dad who's also been a great mentor for me. If you're as lucky as me- make sure to tell your dad how much he means to you today. If you can't, maybe tell someone who's been a mentor to you how much they've mean to you.

All good things

“Fear less, hope more; 

Eat less, chew more; 

Whine less, breathe more; 

Talk less, say more; 

Love more, and all good things will be yours”

~Swedish Proverb quotes

Breaking Through

"I've studied deeply in the philosophies and religions, 

but cheerfulness kept breaking through." 

~Leonard Cohen

A little Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)

ADHD Behavior: Banishing Bad Moods

ADHD behavior advice: Self-calming strategies children can use to put “mood monsters” in their place.

by Carol Brady, Ph.D.  ADDittude magazine 

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/3268.html

Chase away bad feelings.

Relaxation, breathing techniques, and visual imagery can help kids fight off depression and anxiety. Practice these in the evenings (they’ll also help your child unwind before bedtime). Once he’s mastered a calming technique, he can use it to stop a bad feeling in its tracks.

• Relax: Have your child lie down and focus on and relax one body part at a time—hands, arms, chest—until his entire body is calm and anxious feelings have been crowded out.

• Breathe: Teach your child to breathe in deeply, count from one to three, then breathe out. As breathing slows, the body becomes more relaxed. If your child focuses on each breath, he won’t be able to focus on the bad thoughts, moving them from the center of his attention.

• Visualize: Ask your child to think about happy times or a good feeling. One boy I worked with would imagine himself “being licked by a whole bunch of puppies.” Another child pictured walking through a cool forest. If your child is fearful of a particular situation, such as a test, he should picture himself successfully completing the test.

“Time's fun when you're having flies.”

~Kermit the Frog

How do YOU make others feel?

I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
~Maya Angelou

Even bad girls can be positive

"Like I tell the help,
if you can't see the bright side-
polish the dull side."
~Disney's Sharpay

Look around you and enjoy

I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.

~E. B. White

Make the world a better place than you found it

"Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow."

~Abraham Lincoln

You Deserve Dignity

"Martin," by Ted Mallory, Acrylic on paper, 2003

"A man can't ride your back unless it's bent."

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sense of living

"Emily" by Ted Mallory, Oil Pastel, 2010

"Find ecstasy in life;
the mere sense of living is joy enough."

~Emily Dickinson

Why can't we be friends?

"Friends, genuine friends, have much more to do with whether we have a warm heart, not money or power." ~Dalai Lama


Watch the 'Why Can't We Be Friends' video by 70's funk band, War on YouTube

Make up your mind

"Lincoln in Red, White, and Blue" 
by Ted Mallory, watercolor, 2004

"Most folks are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

~Abraham Lincoln

Faith & Laughter

"Jovial Martin" by Ted Mallory; 
oil on canvas, 2009

"You have as much laughter as you have faith" 

~Martin Luther

Great Motto

"Bully" By Ted Mallory; 
Tempra on board, 1997

"Look up, not down-
Look out, not in-
Look forward, not backward-
and lend a hand."

~Teddy Roosevelt

Lighten Up

"At first, I only laughed at myself.
 Then I noticed that life itself is amusing.
 I’ve been in a generally good mood ever since."

~Marilyn Vos Savant, columnist

Have a Nice Day!

"I made a circle with a smile for a mouth on yellow paper,
because it was sunshiny and bright."

~Harvey Ross Ball, inventor of the Smiley

Want people to like you?

"If you would be loved,
 love and be lovable"

~Benjamin Franklin

B+

"B+" (Be Positive)
it's not just a blood type,
or a grade on a report card,
it's an attitude!

It’s what you do for others

All of us are born for a reason, but all of us don’t discover why. Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself.
It’s what you do for others. ~Danny Thomas

Be someone others can lean on

One of the more inspirational movies for teachers has to be Lean on Me from 1989 starring Morgan Freeman loosely based on the story of Joe Louis Clark, a real life inner city high school principal in Paterson, New Jersey- a school that was about to be taken over by the state because students standardized test scores were too low.

Bill Withers' song was a number one hit in 1972. He had moved from a small town in West Virginia to inner city L.A. and was missing the strong, supportive, almost familial ties offered by his home town. This song really speaks about what communities can and should be, encouraging, supportive, and nurturing. Principal Joe Clark let kids know that he wanted their school to be safe and supportive- but that it would also have high expectations of students.

Whether you're a teacher or not, you can be available for others. Maybe as a mentor to someone younger, a mentee for someone older. Maybe as a sibling or cousin, niece or nephew. Maybe just as a friend or a neighbor. Can you listen? Can you be patient and positive? Do you have compassion or empathy? Then you can be some one that others can lean on.

Incidentally, it also turns out to often be one of the first songs kids learn to play on the piano because they don't have to change fingers. You just put your fingers in one position and go up and down the keyboard- so if you have a piano, maybe you want to give it a try!

Glass Half Full

"Some people think of the glass as half full. Some people think of the glass as half empty. I think of the glass as too big." ~George Carlin

Freedom from anger

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” ~Catherine Ponder*

*I hesitated to post a quote from Ponder, because I'm not much for her prosperity theology, I really consider her a greedy charlatan who feeds on our greed and fears- be that as it may, what I appreciate about this quote is what it says about what forgiveness does for the forgiver. Some people look at forgiveness as something they need for what they've done wrong. Some think of it as just another religious duty they grant to others because it's part of piety. Some think it's something that only God can grant, some figure they're beyond being forgivable.

What this quote points out is that forgiveness not only benefits the recipient, but also the giver. Think about it. If you hold on to anger and resentment, you continue to be a victim of whoever wronged you. If somehow, you can manage to forgive them, you are freed from that indenture. It's not just a good idea spiritually, religiously, doctrinally and theologically. It's healthy emotionally, psychologically, and socially. 

This quote may make forgiveness seem kind of selfish, but bottom line, it frees you up to move forward and ideally, it helps permit and repair relationships to move forward. I don't know about you, but I believe that God is all about healing and healthy relationships. Relationships with God and with each other- this all that love thy neighbor stuff.

Tom on Mental Attitude

"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from acheiving his goal;
nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." ~Thomas Jefferson

Seize the Day

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in the quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.”

~Mary Jean Irion, writer, poet

Celebrate today

Just in case you didn't know; today, June 1, is both "go barefoot day" and "say something nice day!" Spread the joy.

Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude!

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

~Melody Beattie, Self-Help Author

What's more important?

“The things which are not measurable are more important than those which are measurable. ”

~Alexis Carrel (1873-1944);

French surgeon; Nobel Laureate

I love this quote and I love that it's from a scientist/physician. One reason why I've always chaffed under NCLB and the push for standardized testing in education is because of this, that quality and depth and relevance all far outweigh anything you could ever hope to quantify.

Guerrilla Gardening

.

"Where flowers bloom, so does hope."
~Lady Bird Johnson

First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson was instrumental in promoting the Highway Beautification Act, which was nicknamed "Lady Bird's Bill" and sought to beautify the nation's highway system by limiting billboards and by planting roadside areas.

Here's a idea inspired by Lady Bird- an act of civil not-so-much-disobedience as rouge-joyology, call it pirate-beautification, if you will.

Packets of flowers are pretty cheap at garden stores this time of year. Why not buy a bunch, keep some in your pocket or your car or purse and randomly plant some flowers where ever you go? Along a roadside, in an empty planter box by the post office or downtown... wherever you think the world could use some brightening! Think of it as rebelling against the pervasive pessimism, cynicism, and nihilism in this world! Sort of reverse-vandalism.

Mind you, Doctor Joy accepts no responsibility or liability for any legal or civil headaches that may ensue if you get caught. If Johnny Law doesn't like you spreading flower seeds wherever you go, you're on your own, Kid!

Wanna be happy?

"The only really happy people
are those who have learned
how to serve."

~Albert Schweitzer

You get what you give-

"Good cannot flow
towards you,
unless
it flows
from you."

~Norman Vincent Peale

Change your life!

"People can alter their lives by altering their attitudes."

~William James

Experience...

"Experience
is not what happens to you,
it is what you do
with what happens to you."

~Aldous Huxley

It is not what you do...

"It is not what you do,
but how much love
you put into it
that matters."
~Mother Theresa

It starts with you

"Everyone thinks of changing the world,

but no one ever thinks to change himself."

~Leo Tolstoy