Hang tough

Some days it feels like you don't make a dent. You work hard to help someone and, oblivious to your motives, they may even ask you why you bother doing something and tell you straight-out that they don't value what you do at all.

It goes without saying that that can be discouraging, but don't give in to discouragement! Soldier on.

MLK said that only love can defeat hate- love is also our greatest weapon against ignorance, and against selfishness and immaturity and arrogance and smugness and especially against nihilism. Love wins, love works, love and compassion and lots and lots of patience.

Apathy and indifference can't win, certainly callousness and indignation won't get you anywhere. But remember that life isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. Slow and steady wins the race.

Hate and selfishness and anger are all in a hurry to shock and awe. They're all impatient and short-sighted, whereas love (being patient and kind, and keeping no records) takes the long view. Love is far more sustainable, durable, and can last forever.

So the next time you want to give up on investing in someone- a family member, a teammate, coworker, or a child or student- hang in there, even though it may SEEM fruitless. Seeds don't bloom overnight.

"So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up."~Galatians 6:9

Teams and Families

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." ~Paul's Letter to the Ephesians 4:2

Some of the times I miss teaching at a parochial school in stead of a public school are when I wish I could appeal to kids' personal faith in order to get them to treat each other better. There are some students who I try explaining concepts like respect, patience, and deference to but nothing seems to sink in.

It seems like in his book 'Seven Habits of Successful People,' Stephen Covey advises readers "seek first to understand, then to be understood." That's one reason that patience is important, because without it, we jump to conclusions.

Legendary UCLA Basketball Coach John Wooden taught his players that emotion was their enemy. They learned and practiced skills and principles so that they would always be prepared to respond to any situation. He didn't want them to just react based on their emotions, that generally means OVER-reacting.

The other night at a football game a Senior cheerleader moved two Freshmen squad mates further down the row so that they'd avoid getting smacked in the face. One of the Freshman didn't realize this and assumed that the Senior was just being bossy and mean. Consequently she overreacted, fuming with anger, even threatening to quit cheerleading. She let herself get so caught up in feeling disrespected, that it never occurred to her that she was actually being protected. 

Of course, even if I had been free to say, "God wants us to make every effort to keep our unity," doesn't mean that they'd suddenly be compliant to me as their coach or deferential and respectful toward one another. Perhaps the best that I can do is to be gentle and patient, trusting that eventually they'll learn these kinds of lessons throughout their lives.

What if we ALL had this attitude?

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." ~Paul's Letter to the Philippians 2:3