You bring me joy

I’ll be the first to admit it. Joy is a hard thing, especially this time of year. Joy is a sense of well being. If you’re like me, you don’t always handle stress well, or you suffer from bouts of depression. But you see, that’s all the more reason we need true joy.

French Philosopher Jean Paul Sarte once said that "Hell is other people." That may seem that way sometimes, but that's also pretty selfish and negative attitude.

And as a matter of fact, the physiological and neurological truth may exactly the opposite. Science seems to bear out the contention that we are here for each other, we're meant to be in relationship with other people- friends, family, co-workers, mentors, mentees, lovers, and casual acquaintances... we need them and they need us.
 

Where did I come up with this idea? My former Vice Principal. She's now a family counselor. She used to be a school counselor. She explained to me once that the true definition of joy is being in meaningful and reciprocated love-relationships. She says that joy is being glad to be with someone who’s glad to be with you.

“Having enough joy strength is fundamental to a person’s well being. We now know that a 'joy center' exists in the right orbital pre-frontal cortex of the brain. It has executive control over the entire emotional system. When the joy center has been sufficiently developed it regulates emotions, pain control and immunity centers; it guides us to act like ourselves; it releases neurotransmitters like dopamine and seratonin; and it is the only part of the brain that overrides the main drive centers -food and sexual impulses, terror and rage.*”

*Page 12, The Life Model; Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You, by Dr. James Friesen, Dr. James Wilder, Anne Bierling, Rick Koepke and Maribeth Poole. © 2000 Shepherd’s House, Inc. ISBN# 0-9674357-0-6


So the next time you're feeling down, don't think about a "happy place," try thinking about a person who makes you happy, a great aunt, a best friend, your grandpa, your children, a favorite teacher- anyone you remember always being excited to see. That might just activate your brain's joy center and bring you back to joy.

But don't be a joy hoarder. Try to deliberately perk up when you see people. Smile, open your eyes a little wider, say their name. This is powerful for teachers and parents especially, but everybody needs to be enjoyed.

"Happy to see you" shouldn't just be a flirtatious innuendo, it should be a way to make meaningful connections and a way to help each other through each day. Life isn't easy, after all, why not make it a little easier by making others feel like you're glad that you get to be with them?!